First Communion shopping and a bundle of mixed emotions

Post date: Feb 27, 2012 8:06:57 PM

Just talking about Natalie getting her First Communion makes this big lump form in the back of my throat. I start choking back tears. I tried to have an actual conversation with real people about it (choir director, Mary and awesome Priest, Fr. Barch) and had to start waiving my face, as if to actually waive off the tears. Visioning my kid walking up the aisle, standing in front of the altar, the priest handing her the Holy Eucharist…tears. Lord in Heaven above, grant me strength.

And Kleenex.

This will be Natalie’s 4th sacrament.

The first, her Baptism, was done in the NICU.

The second, Anointing of the Sick, was done when we found her Portal Vein had blocked.

The third, her first Reconciliation, was done with the rest of her Religious Education class, at church. “Just like everyone else.” How l love those words. She yearned for Reconciliation. She was so excited to “get to” tell her sins to the priest. I wonder what the sins of an 8 year old could be. How many adults are excited that they “get to” tell their sins? She asked me if she needed to tell me, and when I said no, I think she sighed with relief audibly. She wanted to go back in as soon as she had finished.

And now, in April, her First Communion. I am trying so hard to hold back and not go overboard. I mean here is a kid that has faced death!!! Here is a kid that was on a breathing vent in the PICU for 23 days!!! She had a machine breathing for her for 23 days. How do I keep from going overboard? My mom offered to go shopping with us. That will help. She’s a good voice of reason. But as I search the internet for dress ideas or veil ideas I struggle with not becoming a pageant mama. The poufy dresses…the veils…rhinestones or flowers? Hair up or down? Do I order invites? What about a cake? Should we have a party?

And then I remember: She “gets to” walk down that aisle. She gets to receive the Sacred Host and the Precious Blood. She has had plenty of her own miracles and now she gets to share in this one. What a blessing!